


Command me to be well

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Amateur BDSM, Anxiety, BDSM discussion, F/M, Jemma just researchs BDSM, Mentions of manipulation/abuse/everything gone wrong in The Framework, Nothing actually happens here, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Relationship Discussions, Researching BDSM, Stress Relief, Switch Fitzsimmons (but not really)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 06:28:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10893633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: After the traumatic events Inside and Post-Framework, Jemma researchs some ways to help with relieving Fitz's stress, and she finds some suggestions she wasn't expecting.





	Command me to be well

**Author's Note:**

> From a tumblr prompt: Fitzsimmons + "get on your knees". But nobody kneals here. I considered for a while writing about them either with Fitz as the Dom and reclaiming that kind of dynamic after the trauma or about Jemma domming him to help him unwind a little. But.
> 
> But what happened was this discussion, and I think is also an important thing to offer, and something they could really use. 
> 
> It should be mentioned that I'm not part of the BDSM community, but I consulted with someone who is, and therefore I tried to write this in the most accurate, respectful way possible.

She comes across it by pure chance.

She goes past it the first two times, a little affronted that Google might even suggest it to her. For god’s sake, one can not even google _ways to relieve stress_ these days without being attacked by _porn._

By the third time it happens she has gotten curious, especially since she is getting redirected to some sites that seem to at least have some scientific babble. She dives in because don’t let anybody ever say that Jemma Simmons has a prejudiced mind, and by the four article she is very ashamed of herself for ever thinking of this solely as “porn”.

An hour and a half later, she rubs her eyes and wonders how she will present all this potentially useful information to Fitz.

* * *

She brings it up during one of the good days, because she wants them to discuss it thoroughly and in depth, and they won’t be able to do that during one of the bad days.

“I think we should try BDSM.” She was never known for being subtle, and she is not going to start now, especially not with him. Fitz looks at her like she is growing a second head.

“Wh-what?”

Jemma sits down next to him on the bed and takes his hand.

“I think that we both would benefit from using some of the techniques used by the BDSM community.” She makes a pause, examines his face. “I think it’s worth discussing and researching, at least.”

“Why?”

It’s a fair question, and Jemma ponders a little before answering.

“We lead difficult lives. There is no way around it; it’s just a fact. We have had difficult lives already; hell, you even had a pretty terrible _second_ life.” His hand goes tense on hers, and she squeezes it; she knows it’s still hard for him to talk about that, it will probably always be hard. But that’s part of why she thinks this could do them good. "I have been reading a little, and, um, there is, well, there is a lot of stuff, of course. But without even going into the more radical, um, _customs,_ some of them are being scientifically proven to be beneficial in reducing stress levels, and controlling anxiety.”

She waits till he nods, encouraging her to continue.

“I will show you some of the research if you, um, if you want. About lowered cortisol levels and low psychological stress reports. It seems to be something beneficial for both parties involved, um, the one submitting and the one dominating would be the appropriate terms? I don’t know. But well, benefits of letting go of control and focusing on being in control, respectively.”

She originally thought of this as a way for him to let go and be present at the same time, to free his mind for a little while from guilt and bad memories and the exertion of his juxtaposed lives. But now she is realizing that he was _forced_ into those experiences, abused and manipulated through them, and that his lack of choice is one of the elements that makes him feel bewildered and lost: being given the trust of someone who loves him, and getting comfortable with being in control of his own mind and his own decisions again might not be a bad idea for him, either. She is not averse to the idea of letting go a little herself, of relaxing and getting less blood-flow to her dorsolateral prefrontal cortex. That might be a first-time experience on her life. They have to mull it over, research more, discuss it, write everything down, definitely sleep at least a few nights on the idea. And then maybe even try and see what fits them better, or even under what circumstances.

He is deadly silent, looking at their entwined hands and never at her eyes, but Jemma is not worried; he usually gets like this when he is processing, and she presents him with her final argument.

“And also the ‘safe, sane and consensual’ guideline is something that I think we both might be lacking in our general lives, and, um, something we should focus on in our personal, private, intimate lives. Not to mention that is supposed to help improve communication, and that can’t hurt us either.”      

“Is that all?”

“As a first very general introduction, yes.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what, Fitz?” They might not do this in the near future, or maybe never, but it can’t hurt to try to put some of these concepts into motion already.

“Okay, I will read about it and I will think about it. And then we can discuss it.”

“Good.”

He tugs on her hand until she lays down on the bed, and he curls alongside her.

“You already have like a million ideas half-planned, don’t you?”

She doesn’t want to pressure him into anything, but she is also not going to lie to him.

“... maybe.”

He smiles, and his smiles are softer these days, less infectious and less frequent than they were _before,_ but she is treasuring and cherishing each one of them for the exact same reasons.

“Good. That is the Jemma Simmons I love, and that is the Jemma Simmons I want, no matter what is that we are exploring together.”   

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [lost in your angel eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10894788) by [theclaravoyant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclaravoyant/pseuds/theclaravoyant)




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